Thanks, Mom
For everything that we have comes from God alone. Everything lives by his power and everything is for his glory.
Romans 11:36
I got to talk with my good friend Jennifer this week (the friend who inspired the name Mondays with Allee) and she asked me how I was doing. You may recall a blog post just over a month ago where I was really struggling mentally and emotionally. I was confidently able to tell her that I was doing much better. Truly, I am in a completely different mental space now than I was after returning from the U.S. I was actually caught by surprise at how difficult the transition back to Tanzania was for me. But as I talked with Jennifer I started to put the pieces together as to why I struggled. Our six weeks in America were completely focused around preaching the Gospel through stories about our life here in Tanzania and every place we went we were overwhelmed with people asking what we needed and how they could help. We collected thousands of pounds of donated items and thousands of dollars towards Frank and Junior's education and different projects here in Tanzania. For every need we presented there was someone who wanted to meet it. But when we returned, we faced the complete opposite extreme. It seemed as though everyone I encountered had a need that they wanted me to meet. I've never experienced that kind of extreme shift before and although it probably wasn't the "right" way, I handled it in the best way I could. I really believe I needed to go through that to be in the place I am in today.
I am still surrounded by constant need. Just this week five different situations were brought to me in need of support. Some I was able to address immediately and some are going to take more time. But with every need I am learning. I am learning to be honest with people who come to me. I am learning to only promise what I know I can achieve. I am learning to consult others before agreeing to offer assistance to be sure that the support is appropriate and sustainable, not just a bandaid fix. With every ATM withdrawal I make to support someone in need, my hardwired American brain fills with anxiety. Can I afford to do this? What about ______? What will I do if ______? But just as quickly as those questions flood in, the Holy Spirit never fails to calm my fearful heart. Those questions literally disappear and I can hear the words, "I will take care of you. Do not worry about anything."
I find rest in the principle that my mother has instilled in me my whole life- when it comes to doing for others you should do all you can, without allowing financial worry hinder your generosity, because all that we have is not ours, but a gift from God. This is how my mother has always lived. I am amazed at how she manages to maintain this mentality so faithfully. In a world that says take care of yourself first, she constantly prioritizes the needs of everyone else, sometimes to a fault. When faced with a situation where she is forced to choose between doing for another or maintaining her own comfort, she will always choose to give. She takes more joy in that than in doing anything for herself. While I don't know if I will ever be as selfless as my mom, I am so thankful that she instilled those values in me. Without them, I don't think I could really fulfill my purpose here in Tanzania.
I challenge you to be fearless in your generosity. I challenge you to really believe that all you have comes from God and not from your own ability or hard work. I think you will be surprised at how it will impact your day to day life and your relationship with our creator.
Mungu Akubariki,
(God bless you)
Allee
If you would like to donate towards this cause or towards my general Tanzania mission funds, you can send donations electronically through the Venmo app.
My username is @Alison-Gomulka.
If you would prefer to send a check, you can mail it to
Alison Gomulka
15601 Shady Brook Lane
College Station, TX
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