Let Me Explain
"...but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:31
Over the past month I have failed to post a blog two out of the four weeks. While I know that there is no contract requiring me to post every single Monday, I still felt guilty for not posting. I also know that you, my readers, know that I am human and things happen, but I still feel my irregular posting deserves some explanation.
Last summer when I came to Morogoro on the two week mission trip that changed my life, I met Frank and Junior. If you read my blogs regularly, their names are familiar to you. They are two incredible men who live and serve here in Morogoro. They are both gifted teachers as well as leaders in our church. When our team met them last year we had conversations with them about their dreams to attend seminary in the U.S. and return to Africa to serve as pastors of their own congregations. With the help of Pastor Melissa Hatch, the guys both applied to Brite Seminary at Texas Christian University. Last January after applications, essays, interviews, and tests, we found out that Junior had been accepted on a full academic scholarship, but Frank had not. They encouraged Frank to still attend TCU and enroll in their Intensive English Program and reapply to the seminary program upon completion. Even with a full academic scholarship, we needed to raise funds for Junior's living expenses (around $18,000) as well as tuition for Frank ($20,000) to get both guys to the states in time for the Fall 2018 semester. Unfortunately we weren't able to raise enough money in time. And while I was thankful that both of my dear friends would be here in Morogoro with me this year, I was more devastated that we weren't able to make their dreams come true.
This summer when we came back to Morogoro, my mom talked with both of the guys more specifically about their dreams. What exactly they wanted to get out of this education and what she could do to help them. She suggested them making a trip to the States over the holiday break to visit TCU as well as other schools and meet with churches personally to raise funds for their education. They both were excited about and open to the idea. After returning home, she posed the idea to me and asked that we seriously pursue what steps we would need to take to make this visit possible. We also decided that with it being over the holiday break and this being their first time coming to America or traveling anywhere that far away, that I should come with them. At the time I had only been living here for a couple months and, if I'm being honest, I really wasn't ready to come home. Not yet. I had just gotten to the place that I had dreamed of for nine months. I wasn't ready to leave. But as we researched the visa process and got all of the guys' documents in order, as the days passed and the holiday season approached, the idea of being home with my family for Christmas made my heart happy.
On October 22nd Frank and Junior had their visa interviews. We travelled to Dar es Salaam the night before and sat in the hotel organizing their documents, reviewing potential interview questions, and praying together. The next morning after getting little to no sleep, Frank and Junior, both dressed their absolute best, and I headed to the U.S. Embassy. I wasn't allowed inside so I waited for them at a restaurant down the street. Junior came back first and I could tell by his face that it hadn't gone well. "It didn't work out." he said. I was in shock. How could it have not worked out? He explained that they only asked him a few short questions and didn't look at any of his documents. Because Junior is a volunteer here, he is not paid a salary by the school, so when they asked him about his work and he told them he didn't get paid, that told the Embassy that he didn't have enough incentive to return to Tanzania after his visit to the U.S. We sat in silence waiting for Frank to return. He did shortly and sat down without saying anything. I felt my heart sink lower. Frank, in tears, looked up at Junior. "I'm sorry for you Junior. But I thank God that I get the chance to go." Frank was given a visa. Half of my heart wanted to jump for joy and the other half was weeping. The feeling was not unlike how I felt the day we found out that Junior was accepted to TCU and Frank was not. Junior and I returned home and Frank stayed in Dar so he could pick up his visa the next day.
We began making preparations for our trip, but my heart still felt so torn. I'm going home! I get to see my family! Frank gets to come to the U.S.! But Junior doesn't. And we were supposed to do this together. After talking with my mom as well as Pastor Umba and colleagues of his who have gone through this process, Junior decided to reapply for his visa, this time indicating the money he receives from his sponsors as his salary. His interview is scheduled for Monday, November 26th, just one day before Frank and I are scheduled to leave for Texas. We pray that he receives his visa and can join us. I ask that you would hold him in prayer as well.
Last week my mom called to tell me that they were moving my grandpa to an inpatient hospice center. My ninety year old grandfather, Papa, has Parkinson's disease. He has lived with and fought against this disease for years, but recently his health has steadily declined. He was in the hospital when we left for Tanzania and I knew that the day we went to say goodbye to him could very well be the last time I saw him. He had been in the hospital for the whole month of October with an infection in his foot and finally at the end of the month the doctor told my family that he wasn't going to get well enough to go home. They moved him to hospice and last Sunday after church my mom called to tell me he was ready to go. I sat on my bed on the phone quietly sobbing as I listened to my family telling Papa they loved him and his singing favorite hymns. He was actually able to talk to me briefly. He told me he loved me and to "take care of those kids". My mom said he had been reading my blogs. I told him I loved him too and that I missed him very much. Mom said that she would let me know if anything changed. For the rest of the day and into the next, I just sat at home, feeling completely helpless. All of my family was there, surrounding the man we all love so much, and here I am half way around the world. And now that I'm so close to actually being there, it's going to be too late.
It's been a week and Papa is still holding on, but the doctor's say that it won't be much longer. My grandma and aunt are with him all the time and my mom is spending her nights there. Frank and I leave for the U.S. two weeks from tomorrow and as much as I want to hug my Papa and tell him I love him in person, I don't want him to suffer. I know that God's timing is perfect and I am trusting in that. If you're reading this today, I ask for your prayers. Prayers for Junior. Prayers for Frank. Prayers for my family. For my Papa. And for me.
Mungu akubariki,
Allee
Isaiah 40:31
Over the past month I have failed to post a blog two out of the four weeks. While I know that there is no contract requiring me to post every single Monday, I still felt guilty for not posting. I also know that you, my readers, know that I am human and things happen, but I still feel my irregular posting deserves some explanation.
Last summer when I came to Morogoro on the two week mission trip that changed my life, I met Frank and Junior. If you read my blogs regularly, their names are familiar to you. They are two incredible men who live and serve here in Morogoro. They are both gifted teachers as well as leaders in our church. When our team met them last year we had conversations with them about their dreams to attend seminary in the U.S. and return to Africa to serve as pastors of their own congregations. With the help of Pastor Melissa Hatch, the guys both applied to Brite Seminary at Texas Christian University. Last January after applications, essays, interviews, and tests, we found out that Junior had been accepted on a full academic scholarship, but Frank had not. They encouraged Frank to still attend TCU and enroll in their Intensive English Program and reapply to the seminary program upon completion. Even with a full academic scholarship, we needed to raise funds for Junior's living expenses (around $18,000) as well as tuition for Frank ($20,000) to get both guys to the states in time for the Fall 2018 semester. Unfortunately we weren't able to raise enough money in time. And while I was thankful that both of my dear friends would be here in Morogoro with me this year, I was more devastated that we weren't able to make their dreams come true.
This summer when we came back to Morogoro, my mom talked with both of the guys more specifically about their dreams. What exactly they wanted to get out of this education and what she could do to help them. She suggested them making a trip to the States over the holiday break to visit TCU as well as other schools and meet with churches personally to raise funds for their education. They both were excited about and open to the idea. After returning home, she posed the idea to me and asked that we seriously pursue what steps we would need to take to make this visit possible. We also decided that with it being over the holiday break and this being their first time coming to America or traveling anywhere that far away, that I should come with them. At the time I had only been living here for a couple months and, if I'm being honest, I really wasn't ready to come home. Not yet. I had just gotten to the place that I had dreamed of for nine months. I wasn't ready to leave. But as we researched the visa process and got all of the guys' documents in order, as the days passed and the holiday season approached, the idea of being home with my family for Christmas made my heart happy.
On October 22nd Frank and Junior had their visa interviews. We travelled to Dar es Salaam the night before and sat in the hotel organizing their documents, reviewing potential interview questions, and praying together. The next morning after getting little to no sleep, Frank and Junior, both dressed their absolute best, and I headed to the U.S. Embassy. I wasn't allowed inside so I waited for them at a restaurant down the street. Junior came back first and I could tell by his face that it hadn't gone well. "It didn't work out." he said. I was in shock. How could it have not worked out? He explained that they only asked him a few short questions and didn't look at any of his documents. Because Junior is a volunteer here, he is not paid a salary by the school, so when they asked him about his work and he told them he didn't get paid, that told the Embassy that he didn't have enough incentive to return to Tanzania after his visit to the U.S. We sat in silence waiting for Frank to return. He did shortly and sat down without saying anything. I felt my heart sink lower. Frank, in tears, looked up at Junior. "I'm sorry for you Junior. But I thank God that I get the chance to go." Frank was given a visa. Half of my heart wanted to jump for joy and the other half was weeping. The feeling was not unlike how I felt the day we found out that Junior was accepted to TCU and Frank was not. Junior and I returned home and Frank stayed in Dar so he could pick up his visa the next day.
We began making preparations for our trip, but my heart still felt so torn. I'm going home! I get to see my family! Frank gets to come to the U.S.! But Junior doesn't. And we were supposed to do this together. After talking with my mom as well as Pastor Umba and colleagues of his who have gone through this process, Junior decided to reapply for his visa, this time indicating the money he receives from his sponsors as his salary. His interview is scheduled for Monday, November 26th, just one day before Frank and I are scheduled to leave for Texas. We pray that he receives his visa and can join us. I ask that you would hold him in prayer as well.
Last week my mom called to tell me that they were moving my grandpa to an inpatient hospice center. My ninety year old grandfather, Papa, has Parkinson's disease. He has lived with and fought against this disease for years, but recently his health has steadily declined. He was in the hospital when we left for Tanzania and I knew that the day we went to say goodbye to him could very well be the last time I saw him. He had been in the hospital for the whole month of October with an infection in his foot and finally at the end of the month the doctor told my family that he wasn't going to get well enough to go home. They moved him to hospice and last Sunday after church my mom called to tell me he was ready to go. I sat on my bed on the phone quietly sobbing as I listened to my family telling Papa they loved him and his singing favorite hymns. He was actually able to talk to me briefly. He told me he loved me and to "take care of those kids". My mom said he had been reading my blogs. I told him I loved him too and that I missed him very much. Mom said that she would let me know if anything changed. For the rest of the day and into the next, I just sat at home, feeling completely helpless. All of my family was there, surrounding the man we all love so much, and here I am half way around the world. And now that I'm so close to actually being there, it's going to be too late.
It's been a week and Papa is still holding on, but the doctor's say that it won't be much longer. My grandma and aunt are with him all the time and my mom is spending her nights there. Frank and I leave for the U.S. two weeks from tomorrow and as much as I want to hug my Papa and tell him I love him in person, I don't want him to suffer. I know that God's timing is perfect and I am trusting in that. If you're reading this today, I ask for your prayers. Prayers for Junior. Prayers for Frank. Prayers for my family. For my Papa. And for me.
Mungu akubariki,
Allee
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| When I had cancer and lost my hair, Papa shaved his too. |
Oh, my goodness, you have had a time of ups and downs and all arounds. The congregation here has been praying for your family as your grandfather's ill health progressed. We continue to pray with you and now have Frank and Junior to add to our prayers. We certainly hope to meet them both when you arrive in the states. Love and prayers from Our Saviour's Lutheran Church. Sharron Rosedahl
ReplyDeleteAllee,
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time reading your blog. What you are doing there in Africa to help Frank and Junior get to the United States is incredible. And now to have the additional burden of your Papa's failing health and your wanting to be here with him and your family, I can only imagine the pain you are feeling in your heart. So I am offering up my prayers for you, your grandfather and your family, for Frank and Junior, as well as for all the people whose lives you are touching in your work there. I know you trust God and His plans for all involved, so may you find peace when you meditate on this truth.
Blessings,
Betty Munson