I Wonder Why



And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2

When I was little I had these “I Wonder Why” books- I Wonder Why Snakes Shed Their Skin, I Wonder Why Stars Twinkle, I Wonder Why Zebras Have Stripes, etc.  They were some of my favorite books to read.  They were full of all the questions you asked yourself as a kid that seemed so impossible to answer.  We included these books in the hundreds we brought for the library here at school and I’ve come across several of them over the past few weeks as I’ve been unpacking.  It’s been fun to watch the kids and adults here love on these books as much as I did.  Over the month and a half that I’ve been here, I’ve found myself asking “I Wonder Why” questions just like I did as a kid- questions about my life in America, about the choices we make as Americans and why we make them, and about the lifestyle we’ve deemed as “normal” or “right”.  Here are some of the thoughts I’ve had...

I Wonder Why We’re So Busy
I am aware that this is not a new revelation.  Americans pride themselves on being busy.  We push ourselves and fill our schedules to the max so that when we finally get a break from all the busy all we want to do is sleep until we have to go back to being busy again.  I’ve lived this life.  And I’ve gone through times where I make choices to cut things out and balance my schedule so that I have more time to rest, but I still lived in that “busy” mindset all the time.  In America it is nearly impossible to escape the constant pressure to be working harder or completing the next task and it is impossible to go one day without hearing from at least one person ‘Oh I’m so busy’ or ‘I can’t, I’m just too busy’.  Why? Why is our society built this way? I’m wondering because since moving here I have never heard anyone say those words.  Not once.  It’s nothing people brag about, it’s not an excuse people use, and it’s definitely not something someone would say when you ask them how they’re doing.  But it’s not because the people here aren’t busy.  It’s exactly the opposite.  EVERYONE is busy ALL THE TIME.  After someone tells me about their day I find myself saying, “Oh my gosh you’re so busy” to which they always respond, “No, no, no!” with a big smile on their face.  Just as so many other aspects of African life, I find myself adopting this mindset more and more every day.  Am I busy? Yes.  Am I too busy to sit and help my friend with their English? No.  Am I busier than I am happy or blessed? No.  Is it ever fair or worthwhile to compare my busy to someone else’s? No.  Life here truly operates on African time where things happen when they happen and there’s nothing you can do about it.  People stop to enjoy the presence of those around them.  You don’t pass someone without greeting them and if you actually know the person you stop and talk, regardless of where you’re going or what you’re doing.  You take time to drink tea in the morning and eat breakfast, even if you’re running late.  And when seven people get up in church to give a testimony you listen to every one of their stories because there isn’t a one-hour time limit on the service.  In the context of American society, this may not sound very appealing and even a bit ridiculous, but I don’t miss our busy American, hustle and bustle, run by the clock mentality at all.  A jam-packed schedule does not equal a joy filled life.  

I Wonder Why Our Lives Are So Individualistic
People love to ask me about life in America.  They ask about the cars and roads and homes.  They ask how much things cost and where people go to buy them.  But when I have deeper conversations with people about American life the one thing that always confuses them is how individualistic our lives are.  I tell them how we go to work, we go home, we run errands by ourselves or with our family, and we make plans to go eat with friends or go see a movie.  It all feels very formal when you compare it to life here.  Here, where I see my friends every day, where people sit and visit with friends on porches or at roadside food stands and where time, whether spent working or relaxing, is an opportunity for fellowship with one another.  I have always considered myself to be an introvert, meaning I recharge by spending time alone (hence me living by myself for the past 5 years), but here when I (very rarely) come home to an empty house or porch, it feels like something is missing.  I don’t want to spend my waking hours by myself and the waking hours I spend with others, I don’t find myself needing to recharge from.  It is just how we live life here.  

I Wonder Why We Care So Much About Appearances
Don’t get me wrong, people here put great care and love into their appearance and the appearance of their property, but it comes nowhere near the lengths that we as Americans will go to enhance the appearance of our belongings and ourselves.  When I think about the amount of money I spent to make my apartment “just right” or getting my nails done every three weeks, the amount of stores in America and shows on television dedicated just to home décor, the amount of times I bought a dress for an occasion and only wore it once.  I could go on and on.  We all know that in general we care too much about our stuff, but like being busy, it is almost impossible to escape the want for more in a world that is saying you have to have it.  Again, in the context of American life it doesn't sound appealing to live with less or to go without the things that "bring you joy".  But I have found that when you eliminate the dependency on “stuff” to bring you joy; you find a much more meaningful joy in the lives around you.  

I ask myself new questions every day.  I wonder why so many kids in America need to be entertained when kids here can play for hours on their own.  I wonder why church in America has become another event on our schedule rather than the most important part of our week.  I wonder why we are so quick to see the bad in ourselves and others when people here see beauty first.  Obviously I don't have all the answers, and I don't know that answers are what I'm looking for.  I think this questioning is one of the ways I am embracing my new life.  No, I haven't suddenly become an extrovert, rather I am living in a world governed by completely different social norms than the ones by which I was raised.  These new norms are changing my heart and my spirit every day and for that I am very thankful. 

Mungu akubariki, 
Allee

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